why don't we eat strawberry tops?

My thoughts are so scattered. Easily and always.

Last night I went to a family friend's property to see our horses. Walking through a field barefoot, watching the sun dance in the field grass, riding four wheelers, and smelling the the coat of a horse, all reminded me of a greater time in my life. I am in my element with a life like this because it is simple and beautiful. I feel God in everything in times like these.

Everything i seem to do lately reminds me of what i desire out of this life. I want peace and joy. Land, people, hard work, white shutters, goats, chickens. I want the smell of hay, to watch the sun go down with people i love, on a front porch. I want rolling hills and tree swings. Banjo music and cold beer. I want to learn how to work together to make something happen with like minded people. This is how i want to settle... but its not time to settle now. I need people to want this with me. I want a life that is seen as beautiful and different, a part from how the rest of the world lives. I want to invite others in this life with me. I will always keep an open table.

I am at a point in life where my decisions are starting to matter. Things i decide now are starting to affect the rest of my life. Panic sets in that I'm not doing enough, but then this whole being at peace thing is important too, so I'm battling the two. Should I work towards building this life now, and then leave for adventure so i can have something to come home too? should i wait for when I am ready to settle? I want this place ready for me and ready to invite others to join me. This dream will remain living inside of me. It could be a while, but my stubbornness will prevail in making this a reality.

I was driving down the interstate today eating a strawberry. When i got to the leafy top, i wondered why we didn't eat that part. "Why don't I eat this part of the strawberry?! It is probably just as good for me as the rest", but somehow i have seen others not eat it, its the norm and i throw it out every time. Well before today.

I ate the top today.

I sat with this old lady this afternoon. I was reminded how beautiful it is to gain a stranger's trust and friendship. We bonded over C.S Lewis and healthy food. yeah thats right, I watched food inc. with an 80 year old french woman. Movie nights at her place will be happening soon.

The loneliness of these old people i am meeting makes me ache. They should be at a full table, with people, sharing their wisdom, being taken care of.

I battle staying here. I struggle paying the rent. I will know people here and get on my feet.

I will take Richard for walks at midnight and feel free on the sidewalk.

I pray that all who want and need something more today find it. True peace is there, its a gift. We can unwrap and delve in, save it for next christmas, poke at it, destroy it or star it for hours, years, i would say we all should open it and be amazed. Be intentional and laugh.

you cant run with suitcases...

so drop em and start frolicking in his joy like he wants you too...

Meg