Life Has No Lines.

The uncertainty of life seems to hit people when they hit their early twenties. When education(well formal kind ) stops being a factor and you suddenly get to decide which path to take. There are so many options, so many things on my bucket-list that i feel my wanderlusting soul growing tired.

It would be so much easier if God would just come down audibly and tell this granola girl where to go. Which road will make me the happiest, which road will be most influential on people and the world?One small decision can alter your life drastically. This is scary. It is scary to know that if i strike up a conversation with a guy at the gas station it could have the potential to totally change my life. First its "hi how are you"? "Killer boots man", then next thing you know i have the mob shooting in my living room. Just an example.

What i am saying is, i wish life had lines. Then again, i love that it doesn't. See, even me saying that is no line.

I realize that i am very bad at writing a blog consistently. Life is strange currently. I have been in TN far longer then i expected but good things have happened. Life is beautiful after all if you choose to see it that way...

I am a caregiver for this 82 yr old man. He is Mr. Scrooge. I am serious. He thinks buying junk at goodwill will make his life more complete. He likes hookers and has a drawer full of women's underwear. I deal with this everyday. I love him though. He teaches me patience. My days are filled with arguing about ridiculous things with a toothless man who refuses to get dentures...

My folks are selling the house. I have moved out into my aunts attic for the time being. Interesting and very comfortable set up. I like it. I like her. My Boona.

The jeep is paid off! That is a great thing. Too bad i freaked out and deferred all my student loans for a year. HI, I'm megan the biggest procrastinator ever. I just need to venture or i will die. I really think i will.

Josh Ritter has been my sanity these past weeks. I drive to and fro and listen to his stories in music form. My heart literally flutters.

My nephew Mason is a beautiful soul. What a precious little babe. He brings so much joy to everyone's life.

I have been consuming Annie Dillard books for weeks. I think this woman's soul is beyond beautiful. I am learning so much from her words. I am learning to see life in the smallest yet biggest ways. She is teaching me goodness. The woman finds joy in everyday she is given by searching for beauty in all things. She slaps a slide of creek water onto her microscope and stares spring in the face...she makes me want to move to Virginia..to Tinker Creek..

Listen to this woman...

"If you wish to tell me that the city offers galleries, I'll pour you a drink and enjoy your company while it lasts; but i'll bear with me t my grave those moments at the Tate where i stood planted, openmouthed, Born, before that one particular canvas, that river, up to my neck, gasping, lost, receding, into watercolor depth and depth to the vanishing point, buoyant, awed, and had to be literally hauled away. These are our few live seasons. Let us live them as purely a we can, in the present."

"The present is a freely given canvas. That it is constantly being ripped apart and washed downstream goes without saying; it is a canvas, nevertheless."

"Our whole life is a stroll--or a forced march--through a gallery hung in trompes-l'espirit. "

"Once i visited a great university and wandered, a stranger, into the subterranean halls of it's famous biology department. I saw a sign on a door; Ichthyology department. The door was open a crack. and as i walked past i glanced in. I saw just a flash. There were two white-coated men seated opposite each other on high lab stools at a hard surfaced table. They bent over identical white enamel trays. On one side, one man, with a lancet, was just cutting into an enormous preserved fish he'd taken from a jar. On the other side, the other man, with a silver spoon, was eating a grapefruit. I laughed all the way back to Virginia."

She knows the present. I like her.

I am leaving in about a month. I think I am going to North Carolina to work and live on an organic farm for a few months. I could end up changing my mind. I could find myself wandering back up to Alaska or Maybe Montana. I really think the farm life is what i need. The community, the sun, the vegetables, the hard work in the dirt. I am exited to meet and know different people. I hope i become part of the family to the point where i cook in their kitchen...

One Month. So i have to soak this life in. I want to breathe deep. Be patient and kind in my words and most of all be present. .. Love on my momma and smell my homewashed sheets..

kill your television.

Sincerely Meggy