Back on Country Roads Again...

Leaving Alaska was so damn hard. I cried on the train to anchorage. It all started with the package my roommate gave me to open once i was rolling. My half of the map to the magic bus we never got to go to. I'll be back. I will see them again. For now I am back in TN. I feel strange. It has just been a little over a week and i already feel like i have been here for months. I miss my people in alaska sooooo much. I miss the tundra. the bus rides. the beards. the groovy vibe of it all.

This is such a weird time in my life. My schooling is over( good thing). I care nothing of being successful(career wise) unless its be accident. I find myself wanting to get rid of everything i do not regularly use(which is a lot) but then realize that i would want this stuff in my own cute little cob house, oh wait i do not have a cute cob house. I will just store it at my parents house for years and years until i settle down in one..will i settle down in one? will i settle down at all? Will i be happy doing that?! its such a permanent and elderly thing to do...then i Panic...i am such a spaz...

I am trying so hard to keep my self occupied being back here. Bike rides. Making and devouring hummus. Picking flowers. Sewing. Cooking. My aunt Boona. Rearranging. JAKOB DYLAN's raspy voice. Harmonica. Guitar. Books. Downtown. Zumba. Wearing shorts and going barefoot. and simplifying my life by getting rid of sooo many things i do not use .....These things make it easier. I AM using this time for spiritual rest and thoughts, which is much needed.

I find it frustrating that one can never soak up the moment in which they are in. They can say, " wow, this is great! I am gonna breath deep, take it in, oh wait I can't, I have to refill my lungs again, and that totally interrupts my process!" I guess this goes along with " you never knew what you had until it was gone"except with this one you actually realize that you cannot seize the moment while you are in it. It is the most frustratingly beautiful feeling. I know that once my time here is gone, there will be things i will miss. That being said, the struggle to soak up each moment, by living in the present, is still so very hard at times.

I am gonna try with every fiber of my being to be truly present in each moment, to break through the boundaries we humans have created, to do something crazy each and every day.

I will talk to that stranger.

I will sing that song.

I will notice that petal.

I will give that away because i truly do not need it.

He is alive in this day. In this moment. I wasn't created for this world, but another....

-Meg

I ate shit twice. Literally and metaphorically

Just got home from one of the best backpacking trips of the season. Went to Sable Pass. High bear activity but we did not run into any. I am still amazed at how good it feels to carry all you need on your own back. Even more amazed that my little frame hauls 60 pounds straight up mountain sides that first seem impossible. Any thing that is difficult will feel that much better once over, and i was/am still on a high from it. Not to mention it was Beautiful. Picked wildflowers, ate wild goat poop just for giggles, BLUEBERRIES,woke up in the middle of the night peeped out the tent door to find that the entire sky was covered in stars. First time in three months i have seen that, and i am pretty sure this blew any sky back home out of the water. The clean breeze, wildness, darkness and then those stars really blew me away last night. I had to thank him;)

We had to do a river crossing, we all bit it. Current was stronger than it looked and too swift. Soaked. It was the coldest water i have ever been in. Bruised my knees up pretty bad.

I have to say that one of the best feelings ever is the feeling of being exhausted and dirty and finally getting to sit down after a knee crunching excursion.

I will miss these friendships, i will miss this beauty, i will miss the flavor of this place in general.

It's crunch time. About three more weekends free to be in backcountry before i leave this gorgeous place.

During the week of cleaning toilets i think i am ready for a change, but as soon as i get out in the backcountry i wonder how i will ever part with Alaska. It seems impossible.

Off to rest. Peace to all.

Ready to be grungy and moving...

Goodness. I have just about a month left here. Mixed feelings run through me. Did I do enough? Did i love enough? Will i see these people ever again? Will my cravings for adventure ever stop? Will i ever be around this many beards at the same time again? I will miss the flavor of this place, the beauty that never hides...

It actually gets dark now! I can see a few stars at night . It will be getting colder soon. the seasons are so strange here, not bad , just strange. Drinking Merlot and watching the Northern Lights for the first time tonight. Really thrilled about it. This weekend i finally get enough time off to venture out into the park again. I miss the wilderness. MUCH NEEDED. ...Reading to be grungy and moving...

Tennessee is my near future, for a while. I need to organize, plan, and save some money for the next move.. Colorado or Organic Farming in New Zealand....how in the world do you choose! It still baffles me that you can set your heart on something and actually make it happen.... A lot of people would disagree, but so many ordinary people have done great things out of desire for new experience...

It will be so good to see my family and meet my new nephew Mason. I am really stoked about it. I hope the beautiful boy will always know and love me, even though I will not be consistently around..Home-cooking and Blue Ridge Mountains are calling me back slowly .I have great plans on how to stay content in Tennessee for a season. Including; backpacking those Smokey Mountains, Harmonica practice, guitar, gardening, taking Mason on his first hike, cabin building, neighbors and bee-hiving, picture editing for website, book shopping, getting back to running and eating healthy, and cooking with mum...

I have to make a list for comfort reasons...

and maybe one day in the future i will think about a career again... just not now. What does career even mean anyways?

I want more people to follow me on here...It is hard to advertise without being cocky. I struggle with this often. Thats why i think you should do it for me. So if you read this, make someone else do it too.;)

"Learn to feel naked in your clothes"

-Meg

Some words to live by..

"I think you really should make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun. It will first appear crazy, but soon you will become accustomed to such a life and see it for its full meaning and incredible beauty."

To Ron Franz from Christopher McCandless

"Into the Wild"

The whole idea is to lose our bearings, to push ourselves into the unknown. One may have to slow down and run at a slightly slower pace until a road is recognizable but then always run again at full speed. This is how we should live our entire lives.

We all need a raw, transcendent experience. We were made to wander.

i caved..

So...i finally caved and started a blog. I figured if i am gonna live the adventurous life of my dreams, i want people to come with me on my adventures even if its though a computer screen.;)

I am in Alaska. Denali National Park. How beautiful it is! I have met some awesome people. I have been here for two months and i should have been blogging this whole time, but no worries, i will catch you up on the life i have found...so here is a list to catch you up...

a new found respect for hotel housekeepers.

Hitchhiking

backpacking

bears, bears, bears?

moose

people from all over the world

BEARDS:)

camping

fishing

more bus hopping than one can imagine

being drunk and way too friendly with strangers

flying around the highest peak in North America(Denali)

white water rafting the Nenana River

dog mushing

old man named Moe

hanging with dall sheep

starting fire with magnesium

eating wild blueberries

planning the trip out to the magic bus

trying to love always

and of course the constant struggle with me craving this mad beautiful life and leaving the people i love behind....i truly hate this but life is calling...

latest adventure this past weekend: Wonder Lake. Mount Denali. camping with some cool people. wild Blueberries, lots of them.;) watching the moon rise over Mount Denali. eating breakfast beside a caribou. talking with Germans. another long bus ride followed with the best pizza i have ever had. i Dined with my newly found partner in crime.( i like not capitalizing where i am supposed too. I might keep doing it.) peace to you all....